Grinding is Tiring when you Break Even

I've played about 26 hours in the last 3 days and am stuck a few hundred. I'm basically break even over the last 800 games. I went 2/70 ITM in 180s today and had 40 consecutive OOTMs. Didn't do well in anything else rly. Getting aggravating b/c I'm running so behind in flips, running into hands, stuff not holding etc.

Played the plat freeroll and busted in 134th. I lost a pretty key flip and that was more or less it. I got deep in a $11 10k guaranteed tourny today, busted 66/1500 or something after getting 40k chips at 1k/2k and not getting a single shove for like 4-5 rotations.

I kind of want to take a day off b/c the last week has been so soul crushing. I rly want to get up to 3k tournies this month and have to do like another 60, which should only take 3-4 hours. I'm going to get my 30" monitor tomorrow too which should be fun. It should work on my comp but I am not 100% positive.

I have been jogging the last 2 days instead of rollerblading and today I did like 3 kms without stopping so that took like 20-25 min. I don't normally jog but it's a hell of a better workout than rollerblading. I came back so exhausted but it's kinda fun to keep pushing myself. WHen I got out of uni I think I was about 155lbs and now I've lost 10lbs in 3 months and am down to 145lbs. I'm rly impressed w/ dedication b/c usually the workout plans I have don't work out (omg I am sooo funny).

At least when I run bad I basically break even. Things will turn around tho. The thing that tilts me the most is sometimes I win a 12/180 and am stuck on the day in 180s.

I was talking to some guys from the forum and they said like 25 roi in 12/45s is rly good and few ppl have +30. I thought like 30-35 was pretty standard but over ~1800 games I only have 23 roi. A lot of that I think is not a huge sample size and generally running badly at FTs or trying to jam on the bbl a little too lite. So I'm getting like around $3/game. In 16/18s tho I have 20 roi and can probably do 25 roi tho I'm not positive. I'll get around 3.20-4/game and 18s take less time and load faster so I might stop loading 12/45s entirely and instead do like 9 16/18s, 3 27/45s (might mix in some 60/45s in time) and 6 12/180s and whatever 36/180s that go. Might be a little tough b/c 18s get shorthanded quickly so I'll have a lot more work to do. I'm going to try it out tomorrow and see how it goes, but it should be a profitable change.

Here's hoping I start running well. $3/game on the month is so gross and the only reason I'm up 9k this month is b/c I'm putting in massive volume, obv not cuz I've ran well. Oh and I've raked like $3400 this month.